I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
