Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
