I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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