Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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