Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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