you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
