I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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