there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
