That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
