nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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