That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
