OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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