Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
