It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize