like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
