I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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