i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
