Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
