Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
