he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
