You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I am mentally ready for anal.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
