you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
