I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
