what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
