can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
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being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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