all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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