Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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