I need help removing her.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
