you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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