ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
