nut hugger
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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