ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
