HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
