That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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