This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
