Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
