If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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