i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
