Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
