9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
