look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
