I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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