I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
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Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
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This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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