she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
