youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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