Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize