She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
