So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
