Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
