I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize