talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
