i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
