no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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