He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
