your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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