"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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