Don't you send me to vm
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
