I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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