If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize