was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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