He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
