doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
