We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
