Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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