i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize